a life u won’t bother to noe

for the month may i think it will be a very unforgetable month for me…i got to noe lots of friend…saw almost half of the people in kch…well juz see only…haha…

i had been standing behind a glass wall…wearing mask…ppl will not recognise me…sometimes while the ppl is q’ing for the things they want while i m juz in front of them, they seems like din notice me but just the things they wanna buy…

well wat is the ‘thing’ tat recently let all the kchnites (m i rite?) crazy about…Big Apple Donuts

"del del del…" this is d song tat we heard everyday haha…now seems like kinda miss it…everyday thousands of ppl gather in front of the store morning till nite tryin to test this wonderful n beautiful donuts…

from front-line service with everyday serving ppl…"hello welcome to Big Apple" den they start to choose the donuts they like…according to my exp "alien" is the best-seller and then witnut la,iceberg la, bla bla bla all also very selling la…coz everything is nice…for the first day i sold a sample donut wif no filling…ops…sorry i must say…i bet he/she wil not come bck again…go bck…’eh how come juz bread?mayb it is like tat kua…

haha’ i served japanese b4…hav been wondering why they don wanna buy kimochi since it is in japanese language…haha…in the process of being a front line, i also served a vr cute korean…haha…omg i omos melt while she asking me question…haha…some aiks…auntie…err…nop shud say some matured lady still sa jiao wif u…ok…nth to say…well lots of nice exp…

ok change to pronouncing donuts name…’witnut’ got ppl pronounce as whitenut…ok stil acceptable…’chocoholic’ pronounce as cocolic…ok stil acceptable…den california almond is the most kind of pronounciation…well some said almond silence L…den got 1 pronounce california ammonia…ok erm…

ok around 1 o 2 weeks i oso don rmb…change to toppin side…haha…this time is when i m standing behind the glass…i noticed a gal…kasa gal is wat i called her…haha attractive is wud i think…hav been wondering did she saw me?don think so lar…donuts is wat she see kua…tat’s y the topic is so near yet so far…she is juz standing in front of me but i cannot reach her…

well in topping side,since alien is the top-seller, i hav to do almost all the alien job… alien = ah lien?next time shud come out wif new product perhaps ah beng?haha…alien is a donut tat no ppl love to do but is a donut tat everyone love to buy…contradict huh…coz is a donut wif d most choc in it n on top…

ok…come to nick name we got…i got ten n sepuluh…den i get to noe my partner wif a name of ‘tiga’…ok got 1 tiga n 1 sepuluh d…den got chew…tis seems ordinary…but day after day it tranforms into ‘dew’ den ‘diu’…very sun gou i must say…’diu go serving’ ‘diu faster la’…well got a lot of superstar i muz say…wah chai, wah ko, jessica alba, jessica simpson, chen hui ling…fuh all kinds of nicks i muz say…

haha…overall nice exp…

haha write oso crap only…jacky said 1 thing "only noe how to say but did u do it?" ya i did not i juz noe how to say nia…oways say wanna change tis lo change tat lo in d end oso same…tailo ah u 20 jor lo…

tis yr a lot of things happened…2 of my friends passed away jor…send my condolence to them…rest in peace…wat if d one goin is u o me?i don 1…i haven’t done anything yet in my life…i cannot leave my family like tat…

me myself tis yr i got involved 2 accidents…first one vr serious till half of the car’s front gone…luckily back o side don hav any cars if not…mayb i m not here typing blog anymore…2nd one is suddenly a car bend out…bang den luckily we din knocked d post if not…

i juz nvr wake up nvr appreciate the day appreciate d time appreciate the ppl around…everyday wasting time fooling around…i got a lot of things i haven’t do…again i noe how to say nia…

act decided to write tis blog in chinese…but in d mid of it i found out i donno how pin most of d word den delete d whole part n write in english again…

i juz watched ‘1 litre of tears’ SP a movie…mostly is about d summary of d drama i previously watched starred by sawajiri erika…cry o din cry i don 1 2 say but conclusion is stil vr vr touching after watching sth omos d same…

in d movie thr is a scene whr she told her mom ‘i cannot sleep coz i scared to close my eyes’…omg tis make me feel like i really donno how to appreciate life…she din dare to sleep coz she scared tat she will not wake up d next day…havin noe tat d illness can’t b cured…wat will u feel?i really donno wat will i do n don even dare to think about it…

sometimes i think if we are walkin…in d journey we shud stopped n c wat is around us…appreciate it at least…tis are d things that appeared in ur life…often we take things for granted…we only know how to appreciate it when it is gone…like when we are in sec sch we kinda miss d life in pri sch…den when went to other country we will miss d life in sec sch or d time in kch…now in uni i miss d time i spent in sg…wat is tis?we take things too easily?if we appreciate it more at tat time we will not regret…

in tis world thr are ppl hu scared tat tmr nvr comes while we oways put things to d next day…we always think thr will b a tmr for us…really shockin to hear that my frien passed away juz last week…act scenes in drama do happen in our daily life…i juz a feelin tat cannot b described by words…

i stil can’t change d habit of juz tok big den din do anytin’…havin planned for d ho day schedule but in d end i leave it til tmr…act we don’t hav many tomoros…isit i really not really aware of it?o i m really carefree?

in d movie she said that’i touch my heart i can feel my heartbeat’ act i m scared to lose anyone near to me…n i oso scared tat happen to myself…’will other ppl rmb me when i m gone?’tat’s wat she said.

*dup dup* *dup dup*

ok…today is d eve of Hari raya…apartment is omos empty…uni wif no students quite scary bt stil ok…frien go mountain climbin n campin i stay in apartment s not gud in physical thingy…ok stay in apartment nt studyin but sleepin n watchin my screen…

final is comin…carry up for tis sem quite low…which is relatively different wif d sem b4 but i m goin to make d best out of it in d final don care wat d results goin to b…after all i got a lot to do in d holi…

brush up my skills n studyin is goin to b my first priority…

ok doze off…

heart beatin "dup dup"

juz a few interesting conversation in d pass 2 days…

1.

"bang taxi ader pergi ke robin hotel 3 orang"

asking d taxi driver around…ok got 1 of them noe…

"ok boleh…naik taxi kat depan tu"

"berapa harga?pakai meter boleh?"

"meter?boleh boleh…ini…?ini…?ini…?(pointin at d speed meter, oil meter n water meter)"

"-_-||| "donno how to react…

"ala bang…ipoh takde taxi la. ini kereta sewa…tepi tu square bukan circle"

2.

"lao sai, chao fan (ho fan no d rice ah) yat ko!"

"chao fan hai mai?ho ho…"

a few minutes…

"chao fan lei la…"

-_-|||

"lao pan leong, ngo kong kai hai chao ho fan wo mm hai chao fan"

"…mo pin la…lei ko dou hou hou sek…"

3.

overheard 1…cast: auntie, ah ma n nurse

"pei di lui ngo sek fan la"

d auntie vr not willingly gathered a few cents n giv d ah ma…

"tankiuk tankiuk"

after 1 round goin around asking for money…

"pei di lui ngo sek fan la"(same auntie)

"yao pei?!?!ngo mai pei zhou nei mei?!?!"

"sorry sorry"

a few minutes later,

ah ma:"pei di lui ngo sek ye la"

nurse:"eh, nei mai hai ko ko mei mei mei ko ah ma mei?"

"hai ya…nei bin ko?"

"ngo mai hai ko ko mei mei mei lo"

"oh…"

"sek zhou mei ah?"

"sek zhou la"

3 of us -_-|||

4.

"nei kiu mei meng ah?"

"seng long"

"wah seng long wo!!"

"neh kiu mei meng leh?"

"ngo ah?kiu lam fong kiu"

"bin ko leh keh"

"mai hai seng long ko loh poh lo"

haha…my seng is not d seng la is seng tan lo yan ko seng la…

5.

"bang, pergi butterworth?"

"tidak"

"johor?genting?cameron?…SINGAPORE?"

"pergi kl"

"…KL???pergi la…pergi pergi…"(shouting)

i m in kl d…pls la i juz arrived n said don 1 d…

we humans have dreams…i have dreams, you have dreams he oso has dreams den she oso has dreams…juz tat some of us have a bigger dreams den d others…tis is a kind of force tat drive us forward…

well previously i hav dreams like straight A’s la,den find a high high high pay job,den buy big big big big super duper extremely big o huge mansion wif swimmin pool (tho i donno how to swim) den got how many rooms lo,den got how many luxury cars lo…conclusion juz to b rich…but while we are busyin achieving this kind of materials v might lose a lot of things…freedom, friends, family, health n lots more…some how tis kind of materials will not even suceed in juz a 1 o 2 yrs time…it take time, 10 yrs?too short…15 yrs mayb…

in reality it might not b as easy as u think…while you r working for others, your fate is within their helm…u don even noe when he doesn’t nid u anymore…do you havta d security u need?mornin from 9 to 5 sacrifice for the COMPANY not yourself…whr’s your time, your freedom, your family, your frien n your parents?think think…tis is juz for d sake of your materialistic desire…ok d COMPANY keep u for 10 yrs…you feel like you can do sth on your own, you wanna b recognised or wanna be BOSS…one company got how many boss?haha…will they giv their place to you…ya in ur dreams maybe…ok mayb u think it is time for you to leave…but u r not young anymore, you are tie up wif loans n even d milkpowder money…even u hav bravery to set up a brand new company…all d savings from the previous yrs will b used to set d company up…huhu…omg first few yrs wil b vr vr tough…now u hav no turnin back…if u failed den start from zero…if u success hmmm…how old will you be?how successful are you goin to b?millionaire o billionaire?haha…probably tat time you r 50+ lo…wat’s d point of drivin a porche at 50++…drive at 20+ den more yeng ma…

so tat’s y thr’s only song "shi sang zhi you ma ma hao" wat bout daddy?nt gud lo…ez ans…y coz daddy nvr accompany me…in reality daddy is d one hu havta find d bread n butter for the family…

hehe…its vr vr true tat dream havta be vr big…but d way of achieving it is vr important…so i will use d fastest way to achieve my dream…hehe…i juz want a m3 by d age of 22 o 23…nt to big la ho…obviously i m not goin to rob d bank…haha…

tic tac tic tac…life goes on…o shud put *dup dup *dup dup….

today is one of my friend’s birthday…he is in aus now…hehe happy bday dude…my vr vr vr old pal during pri sch. haha…now all old d lo…

previously i heard 2 of my old friends is oso goin to join the nus forces…hmm…y din they come earlier?o shud i ask y din i wait for them?y when im thr they juz nvr want to come?hmmm…i wanna get in thr la…but NUS juz din recognize our UNITEN foundation system…i wonder they accept transfer credit for degree?but will history repeats itself,i’m wonderin s well…mayb i jz don quite reach tat level…blur bout wat i want…want tis n tat n tat n tat 1 some more…haha…sometime v nid to sacrifice in order to take d others…"No sacrifice, no victory."well said…v do nid to sacrifice sth to get sth v cannot get everything together…i got too many things together donno wanna sacrifice wud…hmmm…really nid to sit bck n consider wat i really want…

pause a while goin out to eat wif my frien hu is recently talkin bout berdicurry…haha…berdicurry=berdikari la…haiz…

today is saturday…for those goin to ipta is almost 3 weeks d including orientation week…hmmm…shud b ok kua…kind of reminding me the first time i go out to study…haha the feeling of kinda excited,kinda scared,kinda nervous…when i first reach thr i m only one person…i oways sit alone but sooner n later i got to noe a bunch of friends…they are all alike to me…v came from msia thou diff states but v kinda unite together den always help each other out…at d first few days o even weeks i missed my family n friends alot…tis coz my room mate is a 1 vietnamese n he is always not at his room n came bck vr vr late…den stil got 3 china ppl n 1 indian(from india)haha…at d first 2 weeks i really wanna go HOME!!!a lot r goin bck for d first 2 weeks…though some of them r goin for jpa…some oso gave up n go for a levels in tarc o taylor…one word TOUGH!!!go to class donno wat teacher tok wud…oways asked classmates bout tis n tat juz like a burden to them…havta catch up those 6 months is really not ez…there’s nvr finished tutorials…even i did try my best to do everyday till 3am 4am stil cannot finish…den next mornin havta wake up 6 to catch up d bus…if miss it den havta take mrt myself…even sometimes u wake up at 6 sth a bit u walked a little slower d bus juz won’t wait for u…wif tis little of sleep go class will surely feel sleepy…den u noe lo…taking one of toughest combi wif double maths is nvr ez to catch up those 6 months i missed…but only wif tis combi i got to noe some best friends…friends tat u will nvr forget…

for d first yr holi i tried to stay in hostel to catch up wat i had missed…hmmm…nt enuf…tis catchin up thingy last almost 4 months till i almost took a grasp of it it is d promo test…well during d study weeks,i studied when everyone is sleepin…lights off till lights on…sleep from 7to 12pm…tis most crucial few weeks like HELL seriously…when i tot i m ready for d promo,i m not…well results really cannot c…din even pass 1…i oso not believin it…when u struggle so hard for d first time in ur life n not gettin sth out of it…u r like from top of d hill being pushed dwn to d lowest point dwn d earth…

i’m thr 6 months n my scholarship was taken away…problems come…i m in DILEMMA…wanna cont thr o come bck…thoughts of my parents burden la,my future la,friends la n even my dreams…if cont,i will b offered merit award whr…if i go bck i will goin bck to d uni previously enrolled in…UNITEN (now i m here) makin tis decision is really a pain for me…juz a road diverge into 2 n u havta make a choice…NO TURNIN BCK!

goin bck to uniten oso got a few probs…they tot i m some of d problems student kicked out by d sch wif some mayb violent record…o common m i a student like tis…i gt offered here b4 la…but stil ok la…i juz went straight to kl not goin bck to kch…first time i left kch myself n it is so long so long…5th may till cny d next yr…enrol in tis intake means i m lucas jr lo…sienz…but i m not regretting i made d choice to go sg b4…at least i fight b4…now things getting ez,no stress,no force from d bottom of my heart to fight like last time in sg…i wish i hav d determination again to fight for my dream 1 more time…i nid sth to keep me movin forward without any regrets later…

wake up wake up!!!

life goes on…

i m havin my 3 months holi now…1 n a half months gone left 1 n a half month…been slacking for 1 n a half month though…plannin to catch it bck…i m confident i can…

though din do anything except reading some books i found out i m such a little thing in tis world…human is juz so special wif whole lot things to explore wif…thrfore in the following month i will b vr vr bz if everything happens like wat i m plannin for…my frien r all waiting for IPTA results…wish they got their favourite sub n continuing in pursuing their DREAM…especially david don cry la…nus don 1 nia ma u got imu tough…n i m working hard towards my dream…a dream i made together wif kenny…haha…rite kenny?so v shall not go lim teh liao…haha…jk…

received my exam slip tis mornin haiz…not workin hard enuf once again…me is always like tat always do sth i regret…haiz…also grateful of it la…ngek ngek…next time will not b d same…tis 3 months changed me quite a bit i think…

well quite long since i been updating my blog…recently i juz got contact wif some of the asean scholars in singapore wif me in 2005…as far as i noe most of them is staying sg n some oso comin bck to msia to study…sori ya…i hav been holi so cannot meet up wif u guys nvm i hope when i m bck den v go out together haha…really long time no c d…as for the singaporeans they are now servin in ns…miss them though…

one of my frien comin bck for holi wif me is on a mission to find a gf…hope he can find it to celebrate his bday as he wished…gud luck pal i din mention ur name ah…haha…other frien transferred from a vr gud reputation uni to now a beta reputation uni in kch is oso on his quest to find his special 1…but i oways c him goin out wif boys…aiks…well i m not supposed to tok bout his bad words though gud luck to u 2…ngek ngek…don worry to b single la i will oways bhind u 1…

well,i hav quit dota though n only play for special occasion…hehe…no more feel d la…nt s excited s last time…donno mayb old liao not like last time young…den play tiberian wars,alamak mati la mata hampir julin julin…den otak mau pecah…den go futsal lagi teruk…no stamina at all den oways ole(miss d ball)…mayb scared of ball last time n now stil d same…haha…

went to sematan once while i m bck…seems like d water not s clear s last time d…bt stil ok la…den now got alot of resorts built thr…oso donno gud o not…den yesterday’s yesterday nite got bbq…haha…frien lesser n lesser…but quite fun oso…donno how to say la…

juz rite till here la…sien d…

tommy is moving towards his little dream…life goes on as usual…

really sien kao me liao…final comin…holi comin…3 months donno do wat…sien sien sien…

really long time din update my blog d…

omos 20 d…thinking bck…looking at my friends…juz heard of one of my frien had confirmed his place in melbourne n goin thr in 2 weeks time…one of my buddy since pri sch is now in nus pursuing his dream s n engineer…lots of buddies finished their stpm waiting for results to determined their future…during tis long long holi,most of them r working gainin exp…hav been wondering if i m stil in sg for d last yr finished my a lvl by last yr whr will i b now?if i had been working a little bit more den i did tat time will it b d same?i donno…though i failed tat time but without much hesitation i juz enrolled here…s tis d plannin i got b4 i went to sg…if i came here half yr earlier without accepting d chance to sg wat will i b?i hav often been questioning tis if if if…i m not regretting though s now i understand tat at d time v lost a thing,v will gain another thing on d other hand…den i m questionin myself wat hav i gain?lots…juz tat i nvr realise…i really shall throw away my old self…

now…looking forward…an under-archieving me shall really plan for my future carefully but not looking bck again…at d age of 20,looking at some of my friens are already some vr successful ppl ownin shop,scholarship overseas which eventually promised a bright future wif those future doctor,future engineer tagged on them…me,hav no archievement so far shall now come bck cr8 some extraordinary s i blif i can…those dreams of mine since i m a little kid…act v human hav a power…if v truly 100% o even 101% blif in ourselves v can do it…v hav a freedom to dream but y not make it realistic n not juz a dream…though i don’t think i can archieve it within 5 to 10 yrs…sooner or later it will be archieved i truly believed…

last time when i m a child i also promised my mom n dad tat i will not even ask a cent from them for my edu,but now i m spending all d money they had earnt vr vr hard saving on everything even see one clothes that they truly like but juz don willing to spend tat kind of money and save it to my sister n my edu fund…now it is time to do something for them…i will really strive hard to secure a scholarship…though i noe it is not easy but i blif in myself…i made a promise when i m small den i havta to make it real but juz tat bs everyone can tell…20 yrs passed,i really gotta stand up n do sth for myself n my family…i havta to learn to be independant but not spoon feeding spoilt kid wif a kind of thinkin if v don hav money juz ask from parents…

during april ll hav a 3 months holi though haven’t plan for it…but seriously thinkin of upgrading myself to b a beta me…

2007 hope tat i can really hit my target…